Salute That American Literature.

Well dear Imaginary Reader, it's time once again for the Best of the NYS Regents Essays 2011.

I really need a name for these. Reggies? Texties?  

It's up to you, dear Imaginary Reader.
Do come up with something appropriate.

This year's interpretive prompt was by Herodotus, one of those famous dead white guys who said "Digression is always part of the plan." Obviously, he was an 11th grader at one time.  And, as many students who can't read a copyright date will tell you, wrote his book "Histories" in 1958. No wonder they were Mad Men.


This year's quote was:  "...men are at the mercy of events and cannot control them."

The assignment: Interpret the quote. Indicate whether you agree or disagree. Apply this to two works of literature and use literary elements, FTLOG (For The Love Of God). Try to make sense and not just put ODTAA (One Damn Thing After Another.)

Got that?

And so without further ado, here are the best of the best answers from our 6-hour grading day.



"A Streetcar Named Desire took place in in jazzy Louisiana."

"Sure, man can't do much to equalize his violent tendencies, no more than any other mammal similar to beavers. Just sayin."


" Like a Slinky thrown down the stairs, his actions could not be stopped once they were started."


"When Barry Lowman killed himself, his family was very sad, but they knew it was coming."

"The judges chose to drag this out which in turn caused history to look at this and say wow people suck."

"The day they paid off the house was the day they buried Willy. I'm not sure why. Willy Loman had to be hard-headed and ended up getting tossed through a windshield for it."

"One work that showed this was the novel 'The Crucible' by Cletus Habalu."

"After the boys had gone wild, it was only a matter of time before something tragic happened."

"This later led Holden to a New York City hotel with a hooker. Not being able to control himself he got into a lot of events that he shouldn't have at his age."

"When Stanley raped Blanche, he was not even  drunk. Well,  half-drunk."

"This was a story of friendship, mental retardation and survival."

"The characterization of Amanda  drives Tom crazy."

"John Proctor took control and decided to man up."

"Now, back to George killing Lenny."

"Two works of literature, 'The Crucible' by Author Miller and 'To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper E. Lee..."

"What man can resist a beautiful fairmaiden?"

"Fate has had an effect on man since the rise of the Roman Empire in 710 B.C."

"Willy Loman's wife was scared because she found a nipple in the basement."

"John Proctor was hung for his witchcraft that he never had done."

"Tom Buchanan was greedy, selfish- just your stereotypical jerk."

"..he had to resist the erg..."

"Destiny for these two kids led to an early grave."

"Atticus took the case even though racism was promident in the south at the time."

"Abigail and the girls were in the forest dancing to a witch song."

"John Proctor had to lie about the girls being fake or be hung."

"Petruchio had no idea he was falling in love with a terrible schrew."

"The jury convicted Tom Robinson, but he got himself killed in a firefight."

"Holden wanted to hide Pheobe under a rock."

"Crooks got mad when Lenny touched his lady friend, Candy."

And this year's winner of the Best of the Essays is:

" George knew that he and Lenny couldn't keep going on like they were. He had to end it all, Old Yeller style."

And so, dear Imaginary Reader, I still believe that children are our future. An emibiggened student only embiggens the world he /she lives in. And no one would refudiate that. Especially not Harper E. Lee.