RePost: Lies My Students Told Me

This is a repost of a blog from 2007, when I was teaching at Grateful Dead Community College. I believe, after all this time, that the sentiment still carries.


Writing the personal essay is always a source of joy for the students. After all, they don't have to be analytical or thoughtful; they can just vomit out any old thoughts that are floating around in their heads. Plus, as an extra bonus, it's all about *them*! What's not to love.


While I occasionally read a very touching essay, or feel a strong connection to my students, many of the essays contain the following sentiments:


"I know that with such a wonderful family, the talents I have and my hot boyfriend, I can't help but wonder what I ever did to deserve such great things"
For starters, you could start repaying that karmic debt by showing up for class. Just sayin.


"Shortly after opening his first business, my father had his first child, which was myself".
Talk about a door prize!

"She was my Grandma-Jane and I was her Hambone"
(Personal moment here...)


"My mom looks way younger than what she is. My brother's friends even hit on her and she tell them they're too young and that's gross."
Co coo co choo, Mrs Robinson.


"When he was my age, he took down the baddest dude around"
Was his name Leroy Brown?



Well, which came first?(pun intended)


This student goes on to tell about how she eventually found love with someone she thought was a "jack ass". They are planning to be married, which is a relief, as they have 5 children between them.
"We have decided to do something small on 12.12.07, and later have a bigger wedding with the dress."
I suppose this means that the dress will be busy in December. Well, what with all the parties and all.


But my absolute favorite essay conclusion was this one:


"I have come to realize that I can't think of my Grandmother as a heartless bitch anymore. She was my Grandmother and I owe her that much that I should at least love her for what she gave me."
L is for the way you look at me.


Well, dear readers, till next time...


Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
I'll hear more excuses day after day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
I left it at home
My computer died
I was sick
It's in my car

It is a personal essay
Told by a College Comp student, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.